oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
