I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
