Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
