he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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