im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
