but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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