Barsexuality is the new black.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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