when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I deserve this hangover.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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