i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
