Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
