Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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