If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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