You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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