Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
