He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
