New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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