Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
