You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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