She is in my trunk
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
zippers are such a cool invention
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
