You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just want to make out with him forever
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
