Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
