After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
