so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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