I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
