i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize