You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
