I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
