She's JV to your varsity
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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