The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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