i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
