Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
