after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
