Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
