i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize