I think I died a long time ago.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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