He passed out mid-signature
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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