Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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