I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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