she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
