my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
