I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
