READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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