Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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