how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
