You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
