I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
