I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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