i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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