I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
