well you can't waste a boner
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
