i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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