ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So squirting runs in the family.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
