i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
