also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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