Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken

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(720): View more from Colorado

how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(269): View more from Michigan

So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

(1-269): View more from Michigan

Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

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(563): View more from Iowa

I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?

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(585): View more from New York

I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian

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(775): View more from Nevada

If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did

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