I wannas sexs uuuuu
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"