I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.