I will die if light touches me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
