Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did