im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize