Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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