Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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