When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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