How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
