So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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