he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
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Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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