Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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