well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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