i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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