you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Still dying that you shit outside
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
